BOSTON -- I guess you could say I'm in cancer purgatory at this point. The hellish part should be over and now I have to wait and see if all that treatment worked. To move on, I have to learn to live with uncertainty.

Everyone keeps asking me if I’m cured. The truthful answer is I don’t know. When I was diagnosed, doctors ordered scans of my bones and organs to see if the cancer had spread beyond the breast. Fortunately, they found no tumors. So there really isn’t a point to scanning me right now after all that chemo and radiation because likely there would be no tumors now.

Even later my oncologist does not recommend routine scans looking for recurrent cancer. Studies have shown regular scans cause a lot of stress and do not improve a patient’s outcome even if cancer is discovered again.

So I’m going to assume my surgery, chemo and radiation did the trick. I will take a daily pill called Tamoxifen for the next five years. It’s an anti-estrogen pill that helps to ward off cancer. I will also continue with infusions of the drug Herceptin every three weeks until May. That is a targeted therapy for my type of cancer. And then I wait.

I know that an ache or pain may be more significant for me than for someone else. That said, I’m not going to spend my life worrying about every ache. I’m not going to live fearing this cancer will come back. I’m going to live.

This cancer already took so much of 2007 away from me. I will not let it rob me of any more time. I would much rather get back to being a wife, mom, worker and friend. Those are all so much more fun than being a patient.

Some call cancer a gift. I’m definitely not there yet. I do feel grateful about the people cancer brought into my life. I’ve met so many amazing survivors, doctors, nurses and advocates all committed to finding a cure for this dreaded disease. I have also learned how much others care about me. It’s humbling and an experience I cannot really explain or fully process yet.

I’m grateful to Channel 5 for supporting me through this year. I worked as much as I could, and I was encouraged to use my sick/disability time when I needed it. Work kept me sane. Work helped me feel alive and normal. Going public with my story on TV and the Internet let something good to come from this lousy experience. Now the station has gone even further allowing us to produce a series of breast cancer reports for next week. We are covering a variety of news stories empowering other women (and the men who love them!) with information they need to stay healthy.

Producer Jennifer Berryman, photographer Steve Colvin and editor Barry Mullin have been my companions on this journey. Their support and dedication is truly humbling and impressive.

So now I move on back to my regularly scheduled life with renewed vigor. Until December 22, 2006, I took it for granted I would live a long time. I don’t anymore. But I have this sense of wanting to start anew. 2008 cannot come soon enough for me. Cancer has made me stronger in so many ways including my will to live.