BOSTON -- Summer has not even started yet, but temperatures are rising in my body already. Yes, hot flashes have arrived.

These are not the hot flashes baby boomers joke about in funny birthday cards they send to each other. These are the lonely hot flashes of a 36-year-old wondering how everything in her body could go so haywire.

I could be entering a young menopause or merely having a side effect from the chemotherapy that will reverse itself after treatment. Either way, I find myself struggling with my feelings about this latest cancer challenge. Last weekend I was drawn to a woman I met at a wedding who brought her 7-week-old baby. I offered to hold the baby and felt (embarrassingly enough) jealous of this woman's fertility.

I know I should be grateful I have had two children and believe me, I am. I enjoy my time with the girls more than ever. My youngest, Cecilia, is unbelievably about to turn 1. The last year and, in particular, the past six months have flown. I tried during my treatment to not let my struggles take me away from enjoying her milestones. It has not been easy to juggle it all, but Cecie is a beautiful, easy-going child.

As for her big sister, she certainly keeps me laughing. At a restaurant over the weekend, Madeline pulled my wig off in front of tables full of shocked diners. I simply just put it back on and continued eating. I didn't make eye contact with anyone near me for the rest of the meal. Ugh. My brother-in-law always said forget about the terrible twos, it's a 3-year-old who will really challenge you. I believe it. Madeline was also checking out my new hair growth and asked about the color. I said my hair is brown. She said, "And silver?" Thanks a lot, kiddo.

Meantime, I'm plugging along with work. I'm happy to say my energy level is pretty good and my focus getting sharper with each day. I work four days a week and have returned to a regular reporting schedule. I find getting out and walking three to five times a week has really kept me feeling energetic.

This phase of chemotherapy has been much easier on my body. I'm getting 12 weekly infusions of Herceptin and Taxol. The infusions take a while, which I find frustrating, but the side effects have been minimal. I have some tingling in my hands and feet, but it's not interfering with any of my usual activities. No nausea and, as I said, my hair is growing instead of falling out.

I have a fair amount of hair growing, but not enough to fully cover my scalp yet. I'm hoping to have a pixie by fall. Six of these latest treatments are done, six to go!