Dads can delude themselves all they want that their “special” day is right up there on a par with Mother’s Day. Nice try.

We all know that’s a crock.

Father’s Day may be a slight notch above Groundhog Day and National Secretaries Day, but only slightly.

Mother’s Day is all sweetness and light, everything that is good and wholesome about life. It certainly represents everything that is good and marketable and profitable about life in the greeting card business.

According to industry sources, only Christmas and Valentine’s Day sell more cards. (And for florists, no holiday is bigger than Mother’s Day.)

Flowers for dad? Not so much. However, if there were an A.C.N.A.*, one suspects that Father’s Day would be the year’s biggie for them. (*American Crappy Necktie Association)

Sure, dad gets the obligatory card on Father’s Day. Lots of crayon-scribbled ones, too, and they have their undeniable charm.

In fact, as I write this, I am looking at one tacked on my wall from a couple of years ago from my oldest daughter. It’s a collector’s item. It actually combines two time-honored Dad’s day elements: it’s hand-drawn, with a crayon-colored cut-out of -- you guessed it -- a necktie! (Naturally, it’s yellow and purple.)

Mother’s Day card consuming has much more of a white-knuckle aspect to it. For men, mostly.

You think you’ve seen the look of raw, last-minute terror on the faces of those procrastinators in the post office just before midnight on April 15? Ever browse a CVS greeting card section Saturday before Mother’s Day?

Not that I HAVE, mind you. OK, I have. It’s not pretty.

Mother’s Day has a sense of seriousness to it. Of importance, emotion, attachment. After all, the saying is not “As American as dad, baseball, and apple pie.”

Father’s Day is a do-over, a make-good, made-up Holiday.

For starters, it hasn’t been around as long as Mother’s day (19th century), but was added later (1908) to “complement” Mother’s day.

Which is as it should be. We dads do, let’s face it, merely complement mom. Oh, sure, dads can work hard, be great parents, even do it all as a single dad. But Father’s Day will always have all the attachment of an afterthought, and all the originality of Hamburger Helper.

Which is just fine with me. As are the handmade cards and the purple and yellow crayon ties. Just thank God I don’t have to wear it.