To: Bo Obama, First Dog
Fr: Barney Bush, former First Dog

First of all, let me say congratulations. (And love the colorful Hawaiian lei in the first official pics, by the way!)

As an official psidential pooch now, you are entering a very exclusive club. Even winners of Westchester don't get the kind of attention and publicity you will now receive. Mind you, it's not always the kind of publicity you want, but I'll get to that. The fact is, your new doghouse is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., you have secret service protection, and you're the most famous dog in America. Woof-woof, huh?

Our outgoing Oval Office owners have a tradition of leaving some silly message on the desk for the new incoming guy. Same deal with the dogs. So now that you are officially here, and as the most recent former First Dog, I wanted to share a bit of helpful history with you.

Get used to the media.

You're about to become the most photographed dog in America. Sometimes it's more annoying than a chafing leash or a too-tight collar. Hey, I actually went off and bit a reporter from Reuters last year. Long as you don't bite the Big Guy. Word is that former French President Jacques Chirac was mauled by Sumo, that little white Maltese of his. (Not sure how they treated Chirac, but Sumo was treated with an Alpo of anti-depressants.) If you have to draw blood, stick to reporters; your owner will laugh about it and pat you later in private. Mine did.

On the other hand, sometimes the Big Guy might use you by putting you front and center to that same media. Hey, it's happened before. Ask FDR's Fala (a fellow Scottish Terrier, I might add), or Nixon's (cocker spaniel) Checkers. Both of 'em ended up as unwitting props in a national speech . One minute they're giving themselves a good scratch, and the next they're an anecdote for Presidential historians. Go figure.

Don't be star struck

You've got some impressive paws to fill in terms of famous First dogs past. I mean, Fala was in a Hollywood movie about a day in the White House. Warren Harding's Airedale terrier Laddie Boy had his own seat at cabinet meetings, and LBJ's mongrel Yuki had a recording made of her supposedly singing. But don't be over-impressed, either. Yuki also bit a police officer in the groin, and took a leak in the Oval Office in front of the Shah of Iran.

Learn to share.

Plenty of presidents have had plenty of pets in the White House. Teddy Roosevelt and Calvin Coolidge each presided over small zoos, with everything from a dozen dogs to roosters, raccoons, an antelope and even a pygmy hippo. John Quincy Adams had an alligator. James Buchanan owned an elephant. Andrew Johnson owned some white mice. What kind of President owns white mice as his only pets? I'll tell you what kind -- the kind that gets impeached, that's what kind.

And yes, hate to break it to you, but there've been plenty of cats to contend with, too. Some of 'em famous. Bill Clinton also had a lab named Buddy, but who do you think stole the show on his watch? Socks the cat, that's who. Clinton also got impeached. See? Cats and mice -- nothing but trouble.

And lastly, stay in shape.

My owner had me make more videos than Richard Simmons, running around the White every Christmas, for example. Plus, if you're like me, you'll have your own website . You'll be a very downloaded doggie now, so you want to look your best. (You don't want to look like Ol' Yeller out there on YouTube, hm?)

So best of luck, Bo. And remember, even though you're on a leash, you're the one leading the Leader of the Free World. Besides, who else on earth could get away with doing you-know-what on the White House lawn? That's power.

Woof. -Barney